Where Are The Men? (2)

I first wrote about this topic here and  a sermon by my pastor on Sunday, set the tone for the second part of this message. I keep asking this question not because I choose to be unnecessarily hard on our men but then I am reminded of a saying my dear school principal, Mr S.O. Olawuyi bless his sweet soul, used to say to us repeatedly as school prefects  in secondary school,

"Uneasy is the head that wears the crown".

There are clearly spelt out roles God handed down to man in the very beginning. He gave to Adam a garden to tend and generally handed him down a blueprint to rule God's earth. Not like women too were not given the mandate of rule, subdue and dominate but He gave it first to man. Every man who is worth his onions and is of this gender not because his genitals confirm him to be so, ought to be in charge of every Eden God gives Him to tend. This Eden includes his family, his business and even His immediate society.

Alot of things are going wrong in our world because our men do not have a blue print for their lives. How many men have a vision for their family that they have been able to effectively communicate to their significant other? How many men have an idea of the kind of world they want to leave for their children and thus are already enlisting people to help them build it? How many men even have a sense of their worth? How many men are bridging the gap for the generation after them such that even if getting to the promised land does not happen in their lifetime, they would have built solid structures in place to ensure their children gets there? How many men are treating their wives right so their sons learns first hand how it is done? How many men are giving their daughters a good idea of the kind of man they should settle for? How many men are building generational wealth as opposed to subsistence living? How many men are leaving their footprints in the sands of time? How many men are living up to their responsibility as the head of the home  that they are as ordained by God; providing for and watching out for their family. Argue what you will but it is completely an anomaly for a woman to be the breadwinner of the home. Except in  uncontrollable or unforeseen circumstances, that is not how the creator made it to be.

I may be wrong, but I believe some of us women have become self proclaimed feminists because our men have refused to step up to the table. Ouch! This is however not a post to take a swipe at men in general because truth be told we have men in this country that God is using to wake our  men up to be alive to who God originally created them to be.

At this juncture I must not fail to acknowledge the ministry of men like Fela Durotoye (Gemstone Initiative), Pastor Taiwo Odukoya (Discovery for Men) and even my own pastor Dr Olufemi Paul (Excellence in Life)- whose main thrust of message is centred on excellence and boy, don't we need that in this society of ours where mediocrity thrives? These are a few of God's generals amongst others doing the commendable work of raising a formidable army of responsible men who are men in every sense of the word and not sperm donors or baby daddies. In your own immediate constituency what are you doing as THE man?

Again I ask, ''Where are the men?''

Where Are The Men?

Where Are The Men?

No this is not an advert for Gulder. Don't know if you have seen this new advert by Gulder on billboards on major roads especially in Lagos. I saw one on Kingsway Road Ikoyi and another on Gbagada Expressway the other day. I have however added my twist to this phrase by placing emphasis on the last two words; the men.

A lot has been happening in the media these days ranging from abduction and forceful marriages to young girls under the guise of religion or what have you, to violent physical assault or domestic violence as the case may be and the culprits have been the seeds of Adam unleashing their unmanly inhuman act on the daughters of Eve. This leads me to ask this question; WHERE ARETHE MEN?

 

They say it's a man's world, a patriarchal society but does this then confer on the human male specie the right to treat the female gender however they deem fit? Seeing the victims of these dastardly acts leaves you in utter amazement and a state of bewilderment on the desperately wicked heart of man knowing fully well that these women or girls as the case may be are clearly no match for them in terms of strength.

I am no feminist and not in a hurry to be one but everyday, I see springing up women support groups and NGOs fighting the course of the women and girl child. These organisations take the pains to be there for the women folk, teaching them how to be responsible, better wives, mothers and business managers. There they learn how to be ladies of virtue, help meet indeed for their husbands, how to love, respect and treat their significant others as the king that he is said to be. In fact from a young age, girls are taught how to keep and run a home, how to defer to the man not necessarily because he is superior but because in the divine order of things that is how it has already been arranged. Those that have also being victims of any sort of violence or inhumane cultural practices are also rehabilitated by these organizations.

However, what I find a bit disturbing and which is putting me in a pensive mood is that we hardly find these sort of groups for the menfolk. I am not saying there aren't but I'm saying it appears they are not enough. Same way the girls are taught from a young age to care and treat the men with respect, young boys should also be raised to know that it is completely unacceptable if not abominable to raise a finger at the opposite sex not to talk of striking or inflicting physical injury with some leading to death.

WHERE ARETHE MEN? The ones who will teach our menfolk the virtue and values of chivalry. The ones who will inculcate in these ones that their strength is meant to be used to protect and defend the woman from harm not test that strength on her.

 

 

 

 

WHERE ARETHE MEN? Who also will take the time to build a network of men support groups all over the nation; mentoring, nurturing and building men of substance, men who are alive to their responsibilities and not just being sperm donors!

While some may argue that women are also guilty and are not exactly saints; but I daresay when it comes to domestic violence for instance, what is the proportion of men that are victims of this act compared to that of the womenfolk? Why must exchange of words degenerate to exchange of blows? Beating a woman at all not to talk of beating to a pulp no matter how provoked is all shades of wrong and must be condemned in the strongest terms. 

This post is not to take a swipe at all men in general because there are quite a number of good ones around who are providing the much needed mentorship and living exemplary lives that young ones can emulate. But this is also a wake up call to all men to do more, this much needed help and support cannot be too much.

Can our real men please stand up?