#WomenIAdmire 2

It's another Wednesday. Yipeeee! At the Ville, Wednesdays are for celebrating #WomenIAdmire . A lot of times we tend to admire women who we most likely know remotely; not on a personal level but stories about them or their works inspires us, hence our admiration for them.

I hope however to through these series, open our eyes to women around us who may not be well known around the world or even make it to the list of  'Who is Who' but still their works, ethics and values are indeed worthy of emulation. I first wrote about the #WomenIAdmire here and today, I bring to you the story of yet another person who I not only know personally but is in fact related to me.

                                             At an aunt's 70th birthday

                                                       

This cousin of mine is someone who as far as I can remember is one with a truly restless spirit as I have since come to realise is characteristic of creative people. Always looking for something to do and creating things with her hands. This is however not even the reason I am celebrating her today and singing her praises to high heavens. Rather, it is the way she has made freshly squeezed, chilled and refreshing lemonade which she is enjoying on her own terms, from the lemons life has dealt her.

I first caught a glimpse of the strength of steel she possessed when she had to wait out for a little over a year before she could get into law school at the time as there was a huge backlog of law students then more than the law schools could admit. During this period, she remained unfazed and chose instead to plunge herself into something meaningful; beading and made money from it.

                                                            Photo Credit: Google Images

Fast forward to many years later, she got married at an age we may consider late this side of the globe and then had to be in God's waiting room for 4 years. Eventually, God answered her prayers and as it's typical of every first time parents, herself and her husband celebrated the first birthday of this long awaited precious daughter of theirs. Two weeks after the remarkable event, life happened. Her husband of about 5 years, the one whom she believed and trusted God for when every cousin, friend and associate were getting married and she was continually poked with the question,

 "When are we coming for yours?" died in a ghastly car accident. You will think that is the end of the story but no, few months after his death, she discovered she was pregnant with yet another child. A lot for one woman you might say, but this simply amazing cousin of mine took it all well in her stride. In the first year of his passing on, she almost died herself what with the loss, caring for a toddler and being pregnant again. A year after, she rose from it all like the mythical phoenix and has since chosen to soar high like an eagle.

She immediately took to something else aside from her banking job to help her heal and this solace she found in the world of food. No she didn't take to eating till the point off tipping over the scales, rather she went on to train as an international chef, fulfilling yet another ambition of hers. Today, Mrs Temitope Akinnawonnu (nee Andre) is a lawyer turned banker and now turned chef cum business woman with her beautiful gifts from God, Temiloluwa and Temitayo. She is today the Chef in charge at Beyond Veneer, an upscale catering outfit with both a mobile kitchen literally bringing the cooking to your doorstep and an Africana restaurant. Beyond Veneer specialises in both local and international cuisine, desserts, mocktails and cocktails as well as bring their added touch of glamour and finesse to your event.

Tope and her bundles of joy

 

 

Chef Topsy Dre at work

 

Beyond Veneer adds glam to your occasion

 

 

Small chops

 

Fruit Salad

 

 

I hope by now you are drooling. Hahaha. This is a massive shout out to a woman of incredible strength, virtue, business acumen and absolutely admirable work ethic. For your next memorable event, please contact Beyond Veneer Cuisine at

Office:  51 road opposite customs block by Nepa office Gowon Estate Iyana Ipaja Lagos. 

Telephone: 08151588885

Instagram: @topsy_dre

 

P.S- Know any woman of virtue around you worth admiring with an inspiring story? Then send us a mail at tythotsville@gmail.com . We will be glad to celebrate her with you.

 

Where Are The Men? (2)

I first wrote about this topic here and  a sermon by my pastor on Sunday, set the tone for the second part of this message. I keep asking this question not because I choose to be unnecessarily hard on our men but then I am reminded of a saying my dear school principal, Mr S.O. Olawuyi bless his sweet soul, used to say to us repeatedly as school prefects  in secondary school,

"Uneasy is the head that wears the crown".

There are clearly spelt out roles God handed down to man in the very beginning. He gave to Adam a garden to tend and generally handed him down a blueprint to rule God's earth. Not like women too were not given the mandate of rule, subdue and dominate but He gave it first to man. Every man who is worth his onions and is of this gender not because his genitals confirm him to be so, ought to be in charge of every Eden God gives Him to tend. This Eden includes his family, his business and even His immediate society.

Alot of things are going wrong in our world because our men do not have a blue print for their lives. How many men have a vision for their family that they have been able to effectively communicate to their significant other? How many men have an idea of the kind of world they want to leave for their children and thus are already enlisting people to help them build it? How many men even have a sense of their worth? How many men are bridging the gap for the generation after them such that even if getting to the promised land does not happen in their lifetime, they would have built solid structures in place to ensure their children gets there? How many men are treating their wives right so their sons learns first hand how it is done? How many men are giving their daughters a good idea of the kind of man they should settle for? How many men are building generational wealth as opposed to subsistence living? How many men are leaving their footprints in the sands of time? How many men are living up to their responsibility as the head of the home  that they are as ordained by God; providing for and watching out for their family. Argue what you will but it is completely an anomaly for a woman to be the breadwinner of the home. Except in  uncontrollable or unforeseen circumstances, that is not how the creator made it to be.

I may be wrong, but I believe some of us women have become self proclaimed feminists because our men have refused to step up to the table. Ouch! This is however not a post to take a swipe at men in general because truth be told we have men in this country that God is using to wake our  men up to be alive to who God originally created them to be.

At this juncture I must not fail to acknowledge the ministry of men like Fela Durotoye (Gemstone Initiative), Pastor Taiwo Odukoya (Discovery for Men) and even my own pastor Dr Olufemi Paul (Excellence in Life)- whose main thrust of message is centred on excellence and boy, don't we need that in this society of ours where mediocrity thrives? These are a few of God's generals amongst others doing the commendable work of raising a formidable army of responsible men who are men in every sense of the word and not sperm donors or baby daddies. In your own immediate constituency what are you doing as THE man?

Again I ask, ''Where are the men?''

Deadly Sleep

#MondayDoseOfInspiration

I know our readers cut across people from different religious leanings but permit me this morning to share with you a loaded nugget of wisdom I discovered from the Bible a while ago. I have been praying with this verse for a  number of years since the day I stumbled on it, but I got fresh insight (did i hear someone say hallelujah? Lol) to the verse on the dawn of this day in question.

"Consider and hear me, O LORD my God: lighten mine eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death; Lest mine enemy say, I have prevailed against him; and those that trouble me rejoice when I am moved."    Psalm 13:3-4 (KJV)

In times past when I prayed with this verse, I usually took it to mean sleep in its literal sense. This is because I am someone that is naturally blessed with the gift of sleep. I'll explain. I find it strange some times when I hear people say they suffer from insomnia and at the risk of sounding insensitive or shallow, I'm thinking,

"Is it that difficult really to sleep?"

Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't have my days of sleepless nights too but most and generally, I find it pretty easy to drift to la-la land in no time so much so that my cheesy response was always a line from one of my many favorite bible verses;

"...for so he giveth his beloveth sweet sleep". Psalm 127:2 (KJV)

There is a kind of sleep called the sleep of death. It is the kinda slumber you fall into when you should be awake because even your enemy ain't sleeping. Sleep here doesn't just mean sleep in it's literal sense but means complacency.

 

Companies who become lethargic and do not constantly, strategically innovate will soon find competition kicking them out of business. It has been proven that one of the secrets of successful people is that they work (also read as strategise) when others are sleeping. Successful people spend fewer hours sleeping and work more. Truth is that alot of us spend times that could otherwise be converted to good use on frivolities during the day and when night comes we are too fagged out to even stay up to do any strategic thinking. Don't get me wrong. I am not saying one should work all through the 24 hours of the day, after all;

'All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy'

Jesus takes this a notch further when He said,

''I must work the works of Him that sent me, while it is day: the night cometh, when no man can work".  John 9:4 (KJV)

Day here refers to one's youthful days. Youth is associated with increased physical strength, vigor, mental alertness while night is the time of old age when typically one is retired and should be taking a break. No matter how much you try to exert yourself at night, your strength will fail because you cannot cheat nature which is why Jesus emphasised that at night time, men can no longer work. Day time is meant for work and applying one's strength, both physical and mental as much as one can. There are risks that you can take during the day time of your life that you cannot venture to take at night otherwise you will die of cardiac arrest.

Day time is not meant for sleeping jokers. It's a time of staying up and working your socks off.

The subsequent verse says that a man that is giving to too much sleep will soon have his enemies mocking him. If you fail to apply yourself to your life's work and strive to leave a legacy behind after you are long gone, you will set yourself up as a candidate of mockery. Unfortunately, it is not only your enemies that will mock you but friends, associates, colleagues and even family members will make you a laughing stock.

"...lighten my eyes that I may not sleep the sleep of death...".

This should be someone's prayer today. As we go about our activities today with a new zest for life and renewed hope to face undauntedly whatever obstacle that may come our way, let us reflect on this word of wisdom and silently pray,

"Dear God, help me not to become complacent in the things that matter that it will not be said of me, "Where were you when your mates were prospering?"

 Photo Credit: Google Images

Shalom.

P.S- I apologise for my loooong silence. I have been (still I'm) on this journey of self discovery and actualisation, therefore I needed some time to refocus and re-strategize. Seeing that I bring you stuff that hopefully inspires you, I wanted to make sure that I also practised what I preached. I hope I am forgiven. Lol

 

What School Does Your Child Attend?

I am supposed to be a teacher by training but because I wanted my reward on earth first before getting it in heaven with a bumper harvest too, I dropped the chalk to join the world of banking before leaving to now do my own stuff. This has however not reduced my love for children and education over the years.

In fact from a young age, I used to say to myself that I'll one day become the Minister of Education in Nigeria but I'll start first by being a Commissioner of the same portfolio in my state. This was informed by my disgust at schools who could not even be classified as a tutorial centre because of the rotten, (for lack of a better word) structures put up as school buildings obviously lacking in basic amenities that could make for conducive learning. What irked me the most was that the proprietors even had the effrontery to add the word 'International' to the name of their schools as well as claim that it is Government Approved.

Even to my young mind then, I used to wonder what sort of irresponsible government approved such schools. Then, public schools were not in such dilapidated conditions like we see them today. The obvious decadence in  our educational sector over the years has now seen a rise in the proliferation of these so called international schools.

Sometime last month, I received the image below in a Whatsapp group. This is supposedly a literature book been used by students in a school. The picture says it all. I remember feeling very sad and exasperated when I saw this image and I am just hoping by God this is some kind of sick joke just meant as comic relief on social media.

Another occurrence is the picture of a giraffe painted on a school fence most likely, been passed off as a mouse. Pray tell, is this some kind of prank or what? The picture went viral and I was hoping by some stroke of luck that the school with such disgraceful painting will get called out. Sad. If this is not a sign of the end time, please tell me what is.

For those already scoffing and priding themselves on been on the better side of the social divide and could possibly never send their children to such schools, hold your horses for a second. There are schools and there are schools. There are schools that are actually involved in the total education (social, moral and intellectual) of the child while there are schools that are just purpose built schools. How do I mean? They are basically buildings (note I didn't say schools) which looking at them seem to have all the trappings of the basic requirements of education; the spacious classrooms, facilities, laboratories, well maintained lawns, serene and generally conducive learning environment. Sadly, that's where the story ends. Schools like these only concern themselves in educating the mind of the children but do nothing about their social and moral education. Such schools abound around us if we pay close attention. The school is all big and beautiful but the students are unruly, the staff look like they were forced to work, even those at the helms of affairs who should know better are not any better.

 

I once went to a school while school hunting for my children in the neighbourhood we had just moved to. After I was taken round this particular school, I made up my mind even before I left the premises that I definitely was not going to take my beauties there. It wasn't because the school building was not up to standard, in fact that was what attracted me in the first place, or that they didn't have the usual requirements for a nursery school. Their reception area was inviting and the receptionist even though warm and polite, looked like she was trying to be upbeat. She got a teacher to take me round the class upon knowing my mission and these were my impressions at the end of the tour:

I couldn't help feeling that the teachers were either poorly paid or ill treated as they were all dragging along like they wished they hadn't come to work or somebody just died. I was forced to ask the receptionist the latter when I got back to her desk and when she answered in the negative, I concluded it had to be the former.

Upon getting to one of the arms of the grade my eldest daughter would be, the sight I met almost made me gasp for air. No exaggeration. While some of the children were jumping from one desk to the other, some were yelling and laughing like it was a competition and wait for it, their teacher was seated right there in class. When I asked if they were on a break of sorts to warrant such pandemonium, she answered,

"No", in a very dismissive and can't-be-bothered tone.
Now you know why I made that decision. Parents, please when school hunting, take the time to do due diligence. Yes I said that because the education of a child is serious business. Beautiful buildings don't make a good school. Neither does the foreign accents of the personnel. Don't be deceived. Ask yourself the following questions the next time you are about to make this kind of decision:

- What is the reputation of the school? What are they popularly known for or known as? Is it just a school to announce your social status or a school that your child can be better in every sense? Education is much more than learning how to read and write or being knowledgeable, it should also help in the social and moral development of a child. Are they big on extracurricular activities? What are the core values of the school?

- What is the atmosphere in the school like? Warm? Hostile? Trust me you can tell this even from one encounter. There is no such thing as a bad or good day. No business should leave its prospective clients with a horrible first impression. Take note of the attitude of as many personnel as you meet as possible. The security, receptionist, teachers, drivers even. Remember, children learn more from what they observe than from what they are told and your child will be spending at least 6 hours, 5 days a week with these people. Does it make sense now?

- What are the natural gifts and talents of your child? Will it find room for expression in the school you are considering or will it be suppressed? Will it be better honed? Do not let proximity and fees alone be the only deciding factors in choosing a school for your child. If the fees are a bit of a challenge, you just might start thinking of setting up an educational trust fund for your children. According to the wise words of Dr Femi Paul, who happens to be my pastor by the way, this is what family planning should be beyond just having well spaced out children. Planning ahead for the future of your children. Can I get an Hallelujah? Lol.

So the next time you want to take your child to that school, make sure you are able to tick check on the factors highlighted which are by no means exhaustive.