I Have A Father

#MondayDoseOfInspiration

Hello great people,
Wow! It's been a whole week of hiatus. I apologise profusely, I did not mean to leave you high and dry. I had to go on a forced but well deserved rest and all I can say is, it sure feels good to be alive, hale and hearty. Quite a number of things happened during this break but through it all I am glad that as a believer, even though one may be fatherless but yet still have a father in God which is the gist of today's post. Enjoy.

When scriptures say all things work together for good; the 'all' here refers to a potpourri of events, circumstances and situations, both good and bad or ugly; divinely orchestrated to make us triumphant in the end. I once went through an unprecedented rough time financially months after I lost my dad. Things got so bad that I couldn't help wishing at some point that my late dad had left me a very fat inheritance. I wished he left me plenty properties in choice locations and a stupendously fat bank account that I could just leverage on to sort me through the mess I had found myself.

I woke up one morning missing him so much, wishing I could just call him up and tell him all the battles both physical and spiritual, that I was fighting. My dad was not just my biological father but was also my spiritual father. One  in whose anointing I trusted and respected so much. Just one word of prayer and issue of decree and I would have been sorted and able to sleep easy.

 

 

 

 For the first time since his demise, I felt my fatherless state so much I didn't feel like going on anymore. Until one morning, I was sent a video of a choir singing the Hallelujah chorus- one of my dad's many favourite hymns. The hymn was not only beautifully sung, it was also inspiring and made me burst into a round of praise at the end. As I cried and worshipped the Lord whose kingdom had no end, I remembered in that very instance how even though I was fatherless yet I had a God who was a father to the fatherless. A father who is so rich He owns herds of cattle upon a thousand hills. A father so powerful, He enthrones and dethrones earthly kings as He pleases. A father immensely wealthy no one could ever fully measure His net worth not even Forbes! A father so connected with such a rich network, He even turns the heart of people that matter to do as He pleases. A father who loved me even before I had any idea of His existence. A father who when it came to any pressing matter that had to do with me, He will personally attend to it Himself and not delegate it to anyone else.

As I worshipped, I realised that what I thought I did not have, I not only have them but had them in such immeasurable quantity. I thought my father didn't leave me with much without realising he actually left for me the greatest inheritance of all; a spiritual legacy. One that will see me through and sort me out for the rest of my life till I get called to glory.

 

 

Today I therefore make bold to say,

 'I have a father who calls me by His name; a father like no other. Such that even though my father has departed in heaven to stay but still, I have a father. I call Him Jesus.

The video below succinctly captures the essence of this message. It's a short video but carries a powerful message.

 

 

Saturday Is For Love

Like I always say, Saturdays are for love, weddings and romance so this is dedicated to all those about to get hitched in a couple of hours. By now you know the drill people. My fellow incurable romantics (ladies this time), few hours to the big day, get out that beautiful blank card sprayed with your perfume particularly the one he loves on you, pen these words and have the best man leave it in a strategic place where it will be the first thing he sees the morning of your wedding. Now I know I've watched too many romantic flicks for my own good. I suppose it was for a time like this. Enjoy...

Knowing in a few hours I'll be signing the dotted lines to forever with you
Makes me feel all giddy inside
Butterflies in my tummy, my head up in the clouds,
Extra spring to my steps
My voice suddenly a pitch higher
I seem to be talking in a sing-song manner
The world seems to be spinning fast
My eyes are glazy as the tears flood my vision
Walking down that aisle, all dressed in white
In a room filled with people but all I see is you
All I see is your smiling face as you wait at the end of the aisle
A vision of love and perfection
Can't wait for the priest to pronounce us man and wife
Can't wait for me to tell you how much I love you in a language we both understand
Can't wait to have growing in my womb your replica, a fruit of our love
Can't wait to make those beautiful memories of happily ever after with you
Finally I can't wait to end each day in your arms
And wake up each morning lying next to you
Je t'aime mon amour.

#NannySeries2

Wonderful people of the ville, how are you all doing? Trust the week is rounding off nicely. For our Nigerian readers (yes o we are been read all over the world even in Syria, hehehe), hope the exchange rate is not giving you too much hypertension? May our currency not become like tissue paper o or am I saying this prayer too late? Anyway e go better only that this time no be only poor man prayer.

Last week we kicked off a series here on nannies, maids, house governors or whatever name you call your child handlers. We continue this week with another story of another nanny of mine who for the purpose of this post I will call Joy. Joy came into our lives at a point when I had just started my entrepreneurial journey. She was truly a prayer answered as I was just reeling from a nasty nanny experience. The first time I met her I didn’t think I’d employ her because she didn’t look friendly so I thought she might be mean to my girls but the person who introduced her to me spoke highly of her.

She was at the time a single mother of one who could not complete her OND degree due to the unplanned pregnancy. Joy was such a blessing to our household. I’m reminded of her when I read about Joseph in the Bible where it was said that Pharaoh knew nothing about what was in his house as everything was in Joseph’s care except his wife. But thankfully, Joy unlike Joseph did not end up in jail from my house.

She first worked as a non-resident nanny with me for almost a year then left and came back to stay as a live in nanny. Every morning, she will wake up before everyone else in the house, say her prayers (saw her a couple of times), wake the girls and dress them up for school, by the time I’m out of bed by 7 or sometimes 8 a.m (perks of being your own boss), the whole house is sparkling. She was a devout Christian and not just in words but even in her conduct. My girls learnt quite a number of Bible stories and Christian songs from Joy. In short, she made parenting seem like a walk in the park. Only thing was she was not so firm with them and that was just fine with me as dear hubs and I handled that.

 

On her weekends off rather than go home straight, Joy would first preach to the guards on my street before heading home. She remains one of the few people outside of my immediate family that I can trust with my children.  In the weeks leading to the preparation for my dad’s burial, Joy made it so easy for me to cope with my grief. She made sure that we were all well taken care of and some days will come to me assuring me that my dad was in a better place. In the almost two years that she was with me, she proved that not all nannies need be nasty or monsters.

 

Today Joy is happily married to a man who accepted her and her son and together they now have a daughter.

 

Shining or Dimming

‘’Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.

Let your light so SHINE BEFORE MEN, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.’’

                                                                                Matthew 5:14, 16 (KJV, Emphasis mine)

 

The bible passage above I’m sure it’s one that we have all read and maybe memorised at one time at Sunday School as little children. What’s more we might have even learnt and sang that popular song of letting our little lights shine. But then I ask myself and every believer out there today,

‘’Are we really letting that little light of ours shine?’’

Have we not in the name of political correctness attempted to hide our lights under a bushel? Some of us might have not hidden it entirely but we have gradually started reducing the brightness of our light to adjust to the darkness. In short, rather than shining, our lights are dimming. There are some stances believers these days find difficult to take so as not to be seen as primitive, old school or not even enlightened. I even hear there are many gospels being propagated now. According to today’s Open Heavens devotional by Pastor Enoch Adeboye where he highlighted the dangers of heretic teachings that is now the order of the day in this present age, that there are different gospels now being propagated. They are; The Gospel of Relativism, Gospel of Modernism and Post-Modernism.

As a believer, are you truly shining? You know how it is when NEPA of old (my Nigerian readers will understand me better)supplies light with very low voltage to our homes and then the light starts to fluctuate. The light is so dimmed that even a candle appears to be brighter. What then happens? In frustration, one is left to either turn off all electrical appliances to prevent damage, wait it out till light of higher voltage is restored or if it were at night, we switch to generator. This analogy goes to show the utter uselessness of a light that is not shining brightly. Does that describe us as present day believers? How brightly is your light shining? Is it low current like we call this light that NEPA brings? Is it any wonder that the world is in darkness? We have through our daily acts of compromise and attitude of ‘it doesn’t matter’ or ‘God is not so wicked’ allowed the world to snuff out our light. I like the apt way this Instagram handle I follow, @storm_326 puts it,

 

When light shines brightly enough, soon darkness naturally finds its way out. Are you shining or dimming? You dim your light when you hang out in the club on Saturday nights and yet think it’s nothing because you do not miss your Sunday services. You dim your light when on your social media accounts people find it difficult to really say you are a Christian because of your very un-Christianly conduct.

‘’It’s my personal page’’, they say.

‘’ What I do or believe in is personal’’

Say what now?

You dim your light when as a believer you see nothing wrong in cussing or using vulgar language. Shoot me!

‘’...but be thou an example of the believers, IN WORD, IN CONVERSATION, IN CHARITY, IN SPIRIT, IN FAITH, IN PURITY.’’

                                                                1Timothy 4:12 (KJV, Emphasis mine)

 

I meet people of other faiths who never attempt to hide their belief. In fact you can easily tell from their conduct and speech without being told where they belong but believers, we like to ‘dress to suit the occasion’. I tweeted sometime last week that the world is finding it difficult to come to the church because the church keeps trying to look like the world. The world feels they miss nothing for coming to the church while the church acts like they missed something(s) for leaving the world.

 

This message is for the discerning. Maranatha!

#WomenIAdmire

Hey wonderful people of the Ville. How has been your day? Let me talk like those our fellowship sisters way back in Uni. Hahahha.

Today has been a super duper busy day coupled with my aching bones but still I won't let the day pass without celebrating these #WomenIAdmire.

Today I celebrate my mother and only sister who both are a year older today. These two I admire so much for various reasons.

 

 

I particularly admire the intercessory spirit of my mum, Asst. Pst (Mrs) Abimbola Dada. Believe me sincerely when I say my mum can pray for Africa and the other continents combined. Once you tell my mum about your worries or problems, she automatically becomes your co-burden bearer without your asking her to. A woman who believes so much in the effectual and fervent prayer of the righteous availing much. When my dad told me she was the best thing to have ever happened to him, I really could not but agree because if I knew any woman who spoilt her husband silly, it is my mum. "Spoilt" him with so much love, attention, respect, care, food, name it. In his last days, he was like her baby; bathing, feeding, nursing and praying for him. Big deal you may say but remind me to ask you this if you have to go through tough times with your spouse. It's for better, for worse remember?

 

A whole blog post is not enough to do justice to the kind of 'awe'mazing woman my momma is. We call her Iya Yard toh quality! I am yet to meet (and I say this with every sense of responsibility) any pastor's wife who is as dedicated, committed and caring to the flock like my mum. You need to meet her church members to confirm this. Someday soon, I'm going to urge her to publish her memoir on, Being  A Pastor's Wife of Excellence. Don't worry this is just a working title.

Which pastor's wife wakes her daughters up at past 10 in the night to get the guest room ready for a church member in distress? My mother. Which iya yard personally sees to the smooth running of the wedding ceremonies of her church members (read that as spiritual children) asides from counselling and praying for them? My mother. Which pastor's wife is a perfect, firebrand complement to her anointed husband? A major asset and pillar builder of his ministry? My mother again.

My sister Mrs Tomilola d'Almeida .... Hmmm where do I start from? If I knew any lady with a very strong work ethic, can-do spirit, determined, creative and absolutely intelligent, it will have to be my sister. Tomilola graduated with excellent grades, matter of fact she was best graduating female in her department from one of the country's prestigious private university, yet this young woman woke up one day and had the brain wave that she wanted to be a fashion designer. In fact the day she told me, saying she wanted to become a fashion designer was I felt, an euphemistic way of putting it. In my head I screamed,

 "Tailor?!" 

A whole Computer Science graduate!!! I couldn't help feeling that the devil had lost the battle. Esu ti pofo!

 

Needless to say to learn the craft, Tomi went first to a roadside tailor (tailor under the petesi like we call it) to learn the craft, then went further to a 'posher' fashion school run by a cousin inlaw before pitching her nest at Nobel Afriq, one of the Nigeria's reputable fashion school and then launching her own outfit later. She designed and sewed her wedding and reception dresses, those of her bridesmaids, flower girls and little bride all in record time!!! If you don't think my sister is 'awe'mazing, then truth be told, you are just jealous. If Tomi has not clothed you, honestly I don't know what you've been wearing. Hehehehe. No offence. Please check her designs out on  Instagram, @teethreads . Did I also mention that she can also sing?! In fact I sound like a frog beside her but I am the undisputable Queen of Bathroom Singers. Lol.

 

 

 

Another beautiful woman I must not fail to mention who I also admire and whose birthday too is today (apparently 'awe'mazing women were born on February the 17th), is a dear friend, an aburo to a friend actually but she has worked her way to my heart is, Bukky Otuyemi. This wonderful lady unlocked my gift of writing again after several years of having writer's block and never let me rest until I started this blog which is now blessing and inspiring lives going by the 'no wash' feedbacks that I have been getting. Bukky is a classic example of the 'supporter club' type of friend. I hereby confer on Bukky today, the status of Chairman (or is it Chairlady) of Toyeen'sThotville Supporters Club. She's on twitter as @survivor17 and her blog is www.bukiotuyemi.blogspot.com

 

God bless all three of you for me. May you continually enjoy the blessings and favor of the Lord all the days of your lives.

NB: Incase you think this is a sponsored post, which it is not, then it means I hit your mumu button. Want me to promote your business, product/service or even your humble self? Then talk to me via tythotsville@gmail.com .

Friendship Audit

#MondayDoseOfInspiration

Hey good people,

I trust valentine was a blast. Any hangovers? Lol. Now after all the wining, dining and loving, I suppose, I thought it best to start this morning on a well... kinda serious note in the spirit of love. Yes love for your life, your dream and ultimately your purpose.

Companies world over know that for them to keep being going concerns, they need to carry out an audit of their operations and particularly their finances every now and then not just for tax purposes but to also determine if their business is worthwhile.

According to the Advanced English Dictionary, the word audit is defined as,

"A methodical examination or review of a condition or situation".

The definition above pretty much drives home the point of this post. Permit me to introduce to you a different kind of audit. I call it the Friendship Audit. An audit that pretty much shows you your balance sheet (read as net worth) and whether your friendships have been profitable or not.

So it's time to do a check using the categories of friends listed below.

 Types of Friends

• Askholes: In another post here  I talked about what it means to be an askhole so for first time visitors to the blog you might want to read this first to catch my drift. But askholes in the context of my post today are those friends who are only friends with you when they need something. As soon as their need is met it's 'Bye Felicia' till the next need arises. Before then, they do not see the need to check up on you or even remember your special occasions but as soon as they are in between a rock and a hard place, they suddenly remember Mr Fix It. Come on now we all know everyone wants to be good to others without necessarily expecting anything in return but it won't hurt either if a little love and care is thrown in the mix.

 

 

• Supporters Club: When I say this the image that immediately comes to my mind is the supporters club of our national football team. Growing up, I used to like watching our football matches particularly the international tournaments because of the supporters club. From their frenzied songs of worship calling on the miracle working God to their funny dressing showing off the national colours, it's always fun to watch them shouting themselves hoarse, blowing whistles and playing drums as they urged on the Super Eagles to victory.

We all need friends like the Nigerian Supporters Club. Friends who when you share your dreams with, they stay on the pitch with you encouraging, praying and dancing to victory with you.

• Ride or Die: These ones I call friends for all times- the good, the bad, the ugly and the very ugly. With these ones there is no need for cover up or body magic. You feel comfortable to strip your heart completely to them with no fear of condemnation. They love you warts and all, just the way you are. Who is that friend that plays this role in your life? Your spouse? Sibling? Parent? Cousin? Did I hear someone say Jesus? Hahahaha. Whoever it is , make sure it is someone that you can trust with your life otherwise whatever you say can be used against you in the court of life.

• Fair weather: Yes I hear someone say, "Tell me about these ones Toyin". You bet I will. I know general understanding is that fair weather friends are friends that stay with you only in good times or when it is to their advantage but are no where to be found when times are tough. However, do you also know there are friends who leave you when times are really good? It's unbelievable. Just at the dawn of your success you look beside you and that friend who had been better than you somewhat and you thought they just couldn't wait for you to level up to them so as to deepen your friendship further, alas disappears into thin air, leaving you high and dry. The married friend all of a sudden is not so excited when you quit the singles club and now you can also talk about your spouse, the children, your inlaws. The globetrotting friend who has been regaling you with stories of how beautiful the world is suddenly sounds flat the day you call to tell her you just got your first visa. Honestly when I think of friends like this I wonder aloud to myself,

                             ''But why are people like this?"

I guess it only means one thing; they are not real friends after all. They are your friends for as long as they are better off than you. This has made me to conclude that success can sometimes be the test of true enduring friendship.

 

 

• Best Friends Forever (BFFs) : friends that even when you don't talk often their place in your heart is guaranteed such that no distance or circumstance can pull you apart. Friends who even after being incommunicado for so long you still always manage to pick things up from wherever you left them.

 

• Friends or Acquaintances: There are also those friends that you just call friend for the sake of nuances. Do not however deceive yourself into thinking that you are friends. That you were course mates with someone or you worked in the same work space with another for years does not make them your friend.

 

 

There are friends that like biblical Jonah you need to throw off the ship of your life so you don't end up shipwrecked. You won't bear a grudge against them but mentally you know they bear the friend tag in quote. Meanwhile there are the real friends whose names are written in bold and in the largest font size in your mind. You know these ones are critical to helping you reach your destination faster. Look around you and do the audit. There are friends who within months of meeting them you wonder,

"Where have you been all my life?"

Only a fool picks friends who share same weakness as him. Find friends who are strong in areas you consider yourself not so strong in so you can find a way of complementing each other. I'll use myself as an example. I'm someone that is more a starter than a finisher and gets easily bored. I could start off something today and be all excited about it then as time  passes I tend to lose all the initial enthusiasm and I'm looking for the next thing to do. I realised this won't make people take me seriously and like people in my part of the world will  say,

"It is not the person who starts a job that is commended but the one who finishes it".

I decided then to deliberately start having in my circle ,people that I have known over the course of time to be self starters, driven and accomplishers. If they were not my friends yet I found someone who knows someone who knew them and thank God for impeccable interpersonal skills that I'm naturally gifted with, we end up catching on like a house on fire.

In this social media age, you don't even need to befriend them physically, you can be friends on virtual space. Now how cool is that?

The year I turned 35 (now don't ask me when. Lol), I realised there was no need trying to act like the high school girl seeking popularity by dating the finest guy on the school team or belonging to the 'happening' clique. With 40 a few five years away I stopped acting like the teenager of aeons ago. I carried out this Friendship  Audit and realised how my life was the  better for it. In carrying out this audit as well, I'm at a place where I'm currently asking myself,

"What kind of friend am I to others too?"

You should do the same.

''A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly....''  Proverbs 18 :24 (KJV)

                             

 

Something From Cupid To You

Oh how I love solitude. Time alone with me, myself and I. As long as there is light, internet, music and something to snack on, I'm just a happy child. It gives me time to write, to reflect and strategise, sometimes to pray and meditate and sometimes I'll just do nothing at all except hit the snooze button.

 

Today the eve of valentine, I get to have this revered, precious time again with hubby and the children away, albeit for a couple of hours. Unfortunately, DISCO or whatever they are called these days will not let somebody be great and even I, am beginning to feel for the generator. I'm even beginning to think the grunting sound it makes when in use is  a sign language to us to pity it. At least if it were human we wouldn't be using it to such unbearable limits. Sigh. DISCO not withstanding I choose to make use of this favourite time of mine. With data and a fully charged phone, I think I'm sorted for the next few hours only that it is not only DISCO that is preventing greatness even Cupid seems to be on a short break.

 

 It was my intention to do a love poem series for you my beloved readers in the spirit of Valentine. So that at least if you don't have a gift for the boo, you can get a blank, beautiful card and pen down the poems in your handwriting as a gift to your boo. How do I get Cupid to be in the mood now o? I think where I should start from is to ask if love is truly in the air. Seems everywhere I turn people will rather want to hear the sounds of alerts on their phone rather than the love songs playing on the radio. Am I right or am I right?

 

 

 

No way baby. We are going to find a way to put Cupid in the mood. Write this poem I must, to show my appreciation to you my valentines (yes you all are) for sticking with me and rooting for me since the blog started a few days ago. You all rock!!! The real MVPs 🙌. You keep my creative juices flowing. You make me want to go on. So this is from me to you for Valentine. Hope you like it. Feel free to use it in the handwritten cards. Let's do something different this season. The boo does not need to know you got it from here. Nah that will be our little secret except boo is also one of our ardent readers 😂 . In that case...well let's just say you can tweak it a little so it's not so obvious. Don't forget to split the gift with me if the poem yields the expected compensation😉

My Valentine,

I knew I struck gold from the day I first met you.

You struck in me a chord, I found in you a bond..

In my heart you have a place

Of a truth you make my pulse race

With you I can win the chase and get the ace.

Our love is not just for a time

It's definitely beyond Valentine

It's for time and time again

Indeed it's for all time.

In your eyes I see love

You suit me so well like a glove

Your calmness like that of a dove

Something about your eyes makes me tingle all over

Something about your smile sends a million shivers down my spine

Baby there is just something about you

It makes me love you mon amour

And makes me coming back for more.

Okay guys let me zip it here so I can have the rest for my boo. Have a great valentine tomorrow. I may be on a short break having my own fill of love. Make of this what you will. Toodles xxxx.

 

#NannySeries

Hey good people,

Thank God it's Friday! What's more this is the Friday leading up to Valentine and for those of us with boos (lol), we are so getting ready to be spoilt by our boos (I pray o). Well today's post isn't about the 'booed' and the 'booless'. Every Friday on here, I will be serving you hilarious, inspiring and enlightening tales about nannies and so I have aptly titled it as the #NannySeries.

 

This is a series I hope to share my numerous encounters about nannies, maids, house girls or house governors as the case maybe and those of others  I know. I will start first with the ones I have had to employ in my eight years since becoming a mother.

Believe me when I say I have had ALL SORTS of encounters. Some good, some not so good, some damn hilarious I actually burst out laughing when I think of them though I didn't find them funny then. I had one that was well, kinda spiritually ill suited. I'm sure mothers world over, with my Naija mummies not been an exception will have quite a story to tell.

We all need a good support system no doubt. No need to form super woman. You can only claim the status of a super woman when you learn well the art of organisation, delegation and prioritisation but this will make me digress from the crux of these series.

 

I'll start off today's #NannySeries with this story of a nanny I employed when I was pregnant with my last (dear hubs note I said last) baby some 5 years ago. I was approaching my second trimester and had 2 other children under age 3! Does this remind you of Wande Coal's Bumper to Bumper hit song? Hehehehe. Add to this my very tasking banking job at the time. I needed a nanny desperately if I didn't want to lose my mind, baby and job. So a good friend of mine spoke to her weekend laundry woman asking her if she'll be interested in working for me. Imagine my joy when the woman accepted and what's more she was a middle aged mother of 3 so at least I was guaranteed my children will be well taken care of. I employed her almost immediately. She was to work for me Mondays to Fridays while she did my friend's laundry during the weekends.

It wasn't such a bad arrangement and for the first 2months I coped just fine. I was soon to realise the foolishness in my hasty decision when as I approached the 3rd trimester my strength literally started to fail me. Getting up in the mornings to bathe the children and get them ready for school was becoming a horrendous chore for me. Another foolish act of desperation. I should have just gotten a live in nanny and not this off-premise arrangement.

Anyways one day I decided I couldn't continue this way anymore and so begged this my friend (again) if she could let me have the nanny fully. She accepted being the kind hearted friend that she is. The next line of action was now to let the woman know that I'll like for her to work for me fully (fully meaning Mondays to Saturdays) and I'll in return give her a lil extra.

Imagine my shock when this woman turned down my offer. I was almost in tears.

 

''Ha Iya Tolu (not real name)! Even with my condition and you are a woman like me?''

''Ewo e ma binu but ko le work. Ore yin nikan ko ni mo maa n ba f'oso ni weekends'' (Look it cannot work, your friend is not the only one I do her laundry weekends).

''Ok I'll add something more. It's just for a few more months till I put to bed'', I said.

How desperate I must have sounded. Thinking this will make her shift ground for where? She did not budge one bit. At this point my cousin who came visiting for the weekend even joined me in begging this my executive house governor using my pregnant state to whip up sentiments. Nothing. Iya Tolu stood her ground firmly. At this point I was of course pissed off and told her not to bother thinking at the back of my mind that I would get rid of her when the month ends. She left to continue with her house chores or so I thought.

An hour later my cousin came to ask me where I had put the remaining sardine I opened the night before as she couldn't find it in the fridge. She had wanted to make me sardine sauce to eat with my yam that morning.

''Where else can it be when it's not like rats now enter the fridge?'', I said.

''I'm telling you it's not there I've checked the whole fridge"

"Iya Tolu! Iya Tolu!!

"Ma?"

" What happened to the sardine I put in the fridge?"

" Oh mo ti fi je isu ni ma", (Oh that's what I ate with my yam ma), she said.

"You did what?! What sort of nonsense is that? So if we had eggs at home you would have fried that as well?"

Her response totally threw me off balance.

''Ha no o. Mi o kin je eyin nitori age mi" (No I don't eat eggs because of my age).

 

Needless to say that Iya Tolu was summarily dismissed thereafter. The effrontery!

 

Have any nanny tales to share with us? Please send a mail to tythotsville@gmail.com

 

Stop Being An 'Ask'Hole

Lolllll. No I'm not about to spew vulgar words on here. I first heard of this 'ask'hole word from a friend who was expressing her annoyance at people who keep asking you to help them nurture one dream or another of theirs and never really make it a reality. So all that time spent coaching, advising and mentoring seem like a total waste of time; making you think while bother then.

Quite frankly I can admit to you I was an 'ask'hole for so long. Always quick to ask people to help critique one idea or the other or ask for guidance on how best to handle a particular venture and after gathering all that information I go to sleep, doing nothing with it.

You are an 'ask'hole when you attend every seminar, workshop and conference in town and then do nothing with the information you gather. You are an 'ask'hole when every time you have one idea or another you are always seeking help to make it a reality, yet you have not nurtured and brought any to life for reasons best known to you. You are also an 'ask'hole when all you do is to wait for people to ask you if you require any help so you can get whatever it is you want done. My people will say,

''It is only the child that lifts his hand that the mother will carry'.

Quit waiting for people to ask if you need help. Like seriously? Get off your behind and start to do your stuff and see if they won't start queuing up to be a part of your dream. Being an 'ask'hole makes you lose respect and credibility. It basically makes you an 'all motion, no movement' kinda person.

Being an 'ask'hole projects you as a lazy person. I mean how much work is required to ask compared to getting things done. I found the quote below and it changed my life completely and made me jump off the 'ask'hole wagon. I found it on the Instagram page of my very good friend (and yes this is me famzing), @andreyadison

I decided to start DOING rather than just ASKING for the sake of it as a sign of respect to those who believed in me. Those who thought I was worth all that and more instead of being a beggar always going cap in hand for advice. Before now, I was always quick to register for one seminar or the other. Seek audience with those I thought could help my vision. Quick to seek out their friendship and acquaintances as the case may be. Don't get me wrong, these are not bad things to do but then again you want to sit back and ask yourself,

'What have I done with all the knowledge gained?' SELAH.

One of the skills that will stand you out in this new (well not so new anymore with 42 days gone already) year and for the rest of your life is; read very slowly- E-X-E-C-U-T-I-O-N!!!
Baby, no one ever made the headlines for just dreaming. The dream has to go from being a dream to a vision that others can see and run with and you don't get this done by just asking all the time.

It's just like someone keeps asking you,

'How do I apply for American visa? Schengen? UAE? Canada? China? Pluto? Heaven?'

Every single time they are asking. It gets to a point where you ask them,

'Which of these many countries have you eventually applied for their visas and you have actually been to since the last time you asked?'

'Nuff said! Stop being an 'ask'hole.

Welcome to my world!

The Gift In Me Wants To Be Free....

The original lyrics of this great worship song is,

 'Oh the worshipper in me wants to be free...'

On this particular lazy afternoon, I couldn't help feeling this way even as I just wrapped up work on a book I hope to publish soon. I then checked on some job recruiting site I had registered for sometime last year. I read my profile and even I was impressed with me. However, I didn't feel any sense of fulfilment despite the nice ring the profile seemed to have to it.

I knew deep down that I could do a lot more than my profile read. I knew the person on my inside was worth more and a lot larger than the person on the outside. This is no motivational talk it is what I know. Hence, the reason for this introspective and almost gloomy mood of mine is why the me that I see on the outside is a small fry to the me on the inside.

 

Oh the gift in me wants to be free. I remember how as a young teenager in Senior Secondary School, my English teacher took one look at my essay and said to me,

'You will make a fine writer someday and if you choose journalism, you'll make a fantastic journalist'.

I didn't think anything of his remark because I had heard these same words since I was 7 thereabout. My dad told me, so did one of our neighbours and every other person that read any of my writings even at that age. So my teacher's comment that fateful day didn't come as a surprise.

I remember how when I was barely 11, I was taking my classmates in a tutorial I organised for them. A teacher standing on the corridor of the classrooms who had been watching me for awhile said,

'Wow you'll make such a great teacher.'

I turned, took one look at him and continued with what I was doing like he said nothing at all. Again I was not surprised because at a much younger age, I used to gather young children in the neighbourhood (some my age, some younger) and teach them. So much so a mother told me how her daughter had improved so much in her academics and was wondering if she could employ me as her lesson teacher and pay me of course. I was just about 8 then.

I remember how as a young adult in business school one sunny afternoon our professor saunters in and proceeds to divide the class  into four groups with different topics given. Each group had to then  pick a speaker to give a summary on the topic chosen after a thirty minutes break out session with the group. I was chosen as the speaker for my group. Needless to say our facilitator, the cerebral and famous Professor Pat Utomi slept right through all the other groups' presentation. By the time I was called on as the last speaker, my throat was already parched and my heart was  threatening to burst out of my chest. Then I started to speak. He was not only wide awake all through my presentation he said after I was done,

'Thank you for saving the day Toyin'.

I was to later repeat this same feat, if you will, at my first visit to a Toastmasters meeting. Toastmasters is a club cum organisation where people learn to develop their public speaking and leadership skills. We were given table topics which are basically impromptu speeches on any topic at all. I was adjudged best among the eight speakers of the day.

Few years ago I thought to help out my brother model his beautiful, exquisite beaded jewelry as someone he had earlier planned to work with disappointed. Before I knew it, the pictures went viral and then calls that I should consider modelling started to mount.

I walked into a friend's studio once to record for a program on her online radio station and she goes,

'You really should be on TV with this your beautiful face'.

 

Our anniversary this year, hubby takes one look at me and he said something that I thought was known only to me as no one had ever said it.

'You are a fantastic administrator. You've made my job so easy with the way you've organised things in the office. I just want to use this occasion to say thank you.'

Oh the gifts in me want to be free. The writer, the teacher, the public speaker, the model, the television personality, the administrator in me, all want to be free.

 So I've decided to release these gifts in me as a legacy to my world. Not so much for the money or the attendant fame that may come with it, but so that with this release I may also experience the joys of failing forward, the adrenaline that comes with 'doing it afraid', the humbling thrill of having my name etched on posterity's hall of fame, the euphoric sensation of going to my grave empty.

Now this is my story. What's yours? What are those gifts crying for freedom in you? What are those dreams and desires that are in the words of Regina Agyare (CEO, Soronko Solutions),

"... causes you a lot of sleepless nights; it is like an alarm clock going off inside you. Hitting the snooze button doesn't work; the alarm will just go off again."

                    - Excerpt from Sheryl Sandberg's Lean In For Graduates

Quit hitting that snooze button. Wake up, smell the coffee, get to work. Now I just think of myself as...