The 21st century is not for
jokers so don't be caught napping. We need to raise children that can stand
head and shoulder with their contemporaries anywhere in the world.
Below are a couple of life
skills that we can teach our children to help them get by in the competitive
terrain that is characteristic of this age.
. OBSERVATION SKILLS: "Be observationally alert", in the
words of the author of Lagos Life, London Living, Bobo Omotayo. To teach little children to be aware of their
surroundings at every point in time, there is a game I use to teach my
daughters this skill. It's called the 'show me, show me' game.
Here, you can decide on say, a color or shape and ask that the children look
around them and point at any object with the said color or shape. It can also be played while in the car with
them perhaps when you are not the one driving e.g how many red cars can you
see? etc. It is an essential life saving skill as it could spell the difference
between life and death in a couple of minutes.
.INQUISITIVE SKILLS: Children should be taught never to be afraid to
ask questions particularly on what they don't know so as to prevent them from
asking the wrong person.
A cousin's daughter once
asked her mum when she was quite young what a nipple was. Rather than shout her
down and tell her never to say such 'dirty' word, the mum instead asked her
where she heard it from and went ahead
to tell her what it meant. Interestingly, the girl who was about 7 at the time,
heard the word from her friends in school. Imagine if the mother had not
answered her and she had to ask someone else probably an adult with ulterior
motive.
. COMMUNICATION SKILLS: In this new age, it is not so much what you
know but how you pass across what you know. It is imperative to learn the art
of speaking well. To learn this skill, give them a book, their favorite story
book for example to read. Watch as they read it to you, taking note of their
pronunciations and use of punctuation marks. From age 7 or 6 even, you could
make them sit and listen to the news with you. This made quite an impression on
me as a young girl sitting with my dad to listen to the Network News on NTA
those days. It was always a delight watching the likes of Cyril Stober, Tokunbo
Ajai of blessed memory, Eugenia Abu, Ruth Benamasia-Opia, Sienne All-Well Brown
to name a few and everytime my dad will always say,
"I love their
diction".
I learnt from them first hand
how to speak well and pronounce words correctly. I am still learning though
because learning is a continuous process. Buy them a kiddies dictionary from a
young age. Make reading a habit for them. It expands their vocabulary.
. INTERPERSONAL SKILLS: It goes without saying that your network is
almost as important as your net worth. Help children to be friendly, to
interact well with others. Work on their social skills. Take them out on play
dates with friends and family. Let them go somewhere new where they will meet new people. Expand their network reach
every opportunity you get. Making a 21st century child live a triangular life is a no-no. Triangular
life being house to school to church(or place of worship as the case may be)
then back to the house again. As young children, weekends was constant balling
for my siblings and I. We always had a line up of places to go. My dad wasn't
the richest dude in the neighbourhood. Matter of fact, we were tenants yet the
landlord's children loved to always go out with us because of the fun they were
guaranteed to have. If as a mother you can without blinking an eye, splurge
150k on expensive human hair (either outright purchase or instalment) and yet
the only place of interest your child knows is Shoprite, I hope you know that
you are nothing but a sorry case of a mother!
. SELF MASTERY SKILLS: Knowledge about who they are, where they are
from, their culture, history. Teach children to be unapologetic for who they
are. No one should make them feel inferior about how they look, talk or where
they are from. I love my youngest daughter's response to anyone that tells her
she talks too much. She replies with confidence and sometimes a smile if she
likes you,
"I don't talk, I gist".
Hahaha. Such confident four
year old child of mine. Remember the words of that wise woman.
"No one should make you
feel inferior without your consent"
- Eleanor
Roosevelt
If you don't let your
children learn the art of self mastery, they will subconsciously permit people
to make them feel inferior.
. NEGOTIATION SKILLS: Let children learn from an early age how to
negotiate. You can start by taking them with you to the market and let them
watch you as you haggle or bargain. Children learn alot from what they see. My
mother did this to me when I was growing up and I thought she was just mean
knowing how unpleasant shopping in Lagos markets can be. What with the dirt,
small stalls where both buyers and sellers are squashed together, the noise and
din of the market?! Now add to this my dear mother dragging me with her under
the scorching sun (shopping was always in the mid day) from one stall to the
other haggling until she gets what she considers the best price. Now I'm all
grown and run a business of my own and in negotiating business deals or
contracts, I recall all these supposedly unpleasant negotiation encounters of
the past in the market. I learnt negotiation even before I went to business
school. I do not say I am the best negotiator around but those experiences
helped prepare me for today.
. GOAL SETTING SKILLS: which is regarded as the master skill of
success.Let your children set goals for themselves or if they are too young,
help them set it and ensure they stick to it. It may be goals such as being
among the top 5 or 10 throughout school session, learning their multiplication
table, being in bed by 7:30pm everyday (tough one right?), finishing up their
homework on time. Let me dwell a bit more on this homework issue. It is
imperative we let our children always submit their homework at the scheduled
time (trust me, I'm speaking to myself too) and not take the fact that we can
plead for more time from their teacher via their communication books. It
imbibes in children from an early age the importance of taking work seriously
and meeting up with deadlines. It helps them become responsible adults and
builds in them a strong work ethic.
Like every goal we set for
ourselves as adults, the goals for the children must also be;
S- Specific
M- Measurable
A- Achieveable
R- Realistic
T- Time-bound
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