Monday, 7 March 2016

Life Skills for Children.

#MondayDoseOfInspiration

The 21st century is not for jokers so don't be caught napping. We need to raise children that can stand head and shoulder with their contemporaries anywhere in the world.

Below are a couple of life skills that we can teach our children to help them get by in the competitive terrain that is characteristic of this age.

. OBSERVATION SKILLS: "Be observationally alert", in the words of the author of Lagos Life, London Living, Bobo Omotayo. To teach little children to be aware of their surroundings at every point in time, there is a game I use to teach my daughters this skill. It's called the 'show me, show me' game. Here, you can decide on say, a color or shape and ask that the children look around them and point at any object with the said color or shape.  It can also be played while in the car with them perhaps when you are not the one driving e.g how many red cars can you see? etc. It is an essential life saving skill as it could spell the difference between life and death in a couple of minutes.

.INQUISITIVE SKILLS: Children should be taught never to be afraid to ask questions particularly on what they don't know so as to prevent them from asking the wrong person.

A cousin's daughter once asked her mum when she was quite young what a nipple was. Rather than shout her down and tell her never to say such 'dirty' word, the mum instead asked her where she heard it from and  went ahead to tell her what it meant. Interestingly, the girl who was about 7 at the time, heard the word from her friends in school. Imagine if the mother had not answered her and she had to ask someone else probably an adult with ulterior motive.

. COMMUNICATION SKILLS: In this new age, it is not so much what you know but how you pass across what you know. It is imperative to learn the art of speaking well. To learn this skill, give them a book, their favorite story book for example to read. Watch as they read it to you, taking note of their pronunciations and use of punctuation marks. From age 7 or 6 even, you could make them sit and listen to the news with you. This made quite an impression on me as a young girl sitting with my dad to listen to the Network News on NTA those days. It was always a delight watching the likes of Cyril Stober, Tokunbo Ajai of blessed memory, Eugenia Abu, Ruth Benamasia-Opia, Sienne All-Well Brown to name a few and everytime my dad will always say,

"I love their diction".

I learnt from them first hand how to speak well and pronounce words correctly. I am still learning though because learning is a continuous process. Buy them a kiddies dictionary from a young age. Make reading a habit for them. It expands their vocabulary.

. INTERPERSONAL SKILLS: It goes without saying that your network is almost as important as your net worth. Help children to be friendly, to interact well with others. Work on their social skills. Take them out on play dates with friends and family. Let them go somewhere new where they will  meet new people. Expand their network reach every opportunity you get. Making a 21st century child  live a triangular life is a no-no. Triangular life being house to school to church(or place of worship as the case may be) then back to the house again. As young children, weekends was constant balling for my siblings and I. We always had a line up of places to go. My dad wasn't the richest dude in the neighbourhood. Matter of fact, we were tenants yet the landlord's children loved to always go out with us because of the fun they were guaranteed to have. If as a mother you can without blinking an eye, splurge 150k on expensive human hair (either outright purchase or instalment) and yet the only place of interest your child knows is Shoprite, I hope you know that you are nothing but a sorry case of a mother!

. SELF MASTERY SKILLS: Knowledge about who they are, where they are from, their culture, history. Teach children to be unapologetic for who they are. No one should make them feel inferior about how they look, talk or where they are from. I love my youngest daughter's response to anyone that tells her she talks too much. She replies with confidence and sometimes a smile if she likes you,

 "I don't talk, I gist".

Hahaha. Such confident four year old child of mine. Remember the words of that wise woman.

"No one should make you feel inferior without your consent"

                                       - Eleanor Roosevelt

If you don't let your children learn the art of self mastery, they will subconsciously permit people to make them feel inferior.

. NEGOTIATION SKILLS: Let children learn from an early age how to negotiate. You can start by taking them with you to the market and let them watch you as you haggle or bargain. Children learn alot from what they see. My mother did this to me when I was growing up and I thought she was just mean knowing how unpleasant shopping in Lagos markets can be. What with the dirt, small stalls where both buyers and sellers are squashed together, the noise and din of the market?! Now add to this my dear mother dragging me with her under the scorching sun (shopping was always in the mid day) from one stall to the other haggling until she gets what she considers the best price. Now I'm all grown and run a business of my own and in negotiating business deals or contracts, I recall all these supposedly unpleasant negotiation encounters of the past in the market. I learnt negotiation even before I went to business school. I do not say I am the best negotiator around but those experiences helped prepare me for today.

. GOAL SETTING SKILLS: which is regarded as the master skill of success.Let your children set goals for themselves or if they are too young, help them set it and ensure they stick to it. It may be goals such as being among the top 5 or 10 throughout school session, learning their multiplication table, being in bed by 7:30pm everyday (tough one right?), finishing up their homework on time. Let me dwell a bit more on this homework issue. It is imperative we let our children always submit their homework at the scheduled time (trust me, I'm speaking to myself too) and not take the fact that we can plead for more time from their teacher via their communication books. It imbibes in children from an early age the importance of taking work seriously and meeting up with deadlines. It helps them become responsible adults and builds in them a strong work ethic.

Like every goal we set for ourselves as adults, the goals for the children must also be;

S- Specific

M- Measurable

A- Achieveable

R- Realistic

T- Time-bound
 
Photo Credit: @gracetoparent .
 


 

 

 

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